the last day for her to stay...

Today's my last day to see my grandma... i talk to her at her coffin... i told her i promised her to get top in school... then later my cousin came over to me... she said if you have anything to say out from my heart to my grandma this was my last chance... so i told her how much i hate to see her go and how much i love her... i told her if she had a chance please come back and visit me... i just want to see her... if not i told her come into my dreams and talk to me and tell me how she feels... i'm so sad... then when is the time to cover her coffin... i cried so badly... cos i can't bear to see her go... then after that they undertakers told us to turn around cos we're not allow to see it's bad luck to us... then i cried again... this time she's already in the van... later we went to guang ming shan miao... then we went in... a flash of mind i saw my grandpa funeral... then i saw my grandma... after prayers everything done... she's going to be pushed in to the 'hot oven' then this is the time i wanted to run up to her and hug her... but i can't they're preparng to be pushed in it... so when it's time to be pushed... i called out to her the top of my voice... i want to let her know that i'm there and i miss her... it's so painful... i can't express it out... cos it's really painful to me... i don't want the future to be like that!!! I HATE IT!!!

A worst day in my entire life!!! :'(

BLOGGY!!! yesterday my grandma passed away... It's so shocking to me... cos she's the only person who shares sorrows and happiness with me... she's the person who looks after when i was discharged from the hospital... she's the one who encourages me to study hard in my exams... she's the person i respect the most and l0oved the most... why must i come to this world the see my grandma go?! WHY?! it's not fair to me... i was going to my cousin's place after visiting my grandma at tan tock seng... when i'm in the hospital... i see my grandma in the ICU suffering makes my heart sink... i cried in the hospital... my mum told me not to cry... so i had to control my tears... when i went into the ICU room my grandma told me something but i can't hear what is she talking... *still controling my tears* i told my mum to call the nurse in... so the nurse came in i told her that my grandma needed something... but she can't understand my grandma... so i told my grandma speak slowly... when she keeps on pulling the string *that was tied on her hands to prevent her from pulling the tubes off her face... if not she will be in danger*... she trying to tell me to free her... then slowly i understand what she wants... she wants to eat something... she's having gastric pain... so i told her to wait later the nurse will give her something to eat... she listened to me... then she settled down... not long i held her hands and did a prayer for her... then all of a sudden she held my hang tightly... *means she's in pain and she's having heart attack* so i told the STUPID IDIOTIC nurse that my grandma was in pain... then she told me "no, your grandma is very energetic..." my heart said "what nonsense is this?! my grandma is suffering and you are telling me this?!" it's not my 1st time seeing my grandma like this... sometimes it happens at home... i stay 1 whole hour in the ICU room with her... after that i went back to my cousin's place for a while... 5 minutes later i received a call from my dad... he said my grandma might not make it through... so i rushed back to the hospital again... then when i reached there... my aunt said that my grandma went into a deep coma... i rushed into the room to wake her up but it's no use... i told her that she promised me to see me graduate from U... but she's like answering me... with her mouth moving... she's like telling me goodbye... i told her you can't leave me in this world... who's going to take care of me after school?? who's going to cook for me?? i told her i promised her that i'll study hard unless you wake up and go home... i promised her that i'll get top 10 again in school... not long her heart beat slowed down... my uncle came in and said ma i'll take care of myself, don't worry about me... i think when she heard that she going to leave the world... her heart beat dropped... and her blood pressure dropped alot... then my grandma shed a little tear on her eyes... then the doctor came in... he said you have to stay outside... i screamed and called out for my grandma... he asked a question "do you want me to save your mum for a while because i think she can't take it anymore..." nobody said anything because my eldest uncle haven't reached yet... so i said YES... then the doctor save her for a little while only... all my relatives came in to see my grandma and everyone cried... then lastly my uncle came in and call my grandma... it's like she heard my uncle and sleep till she died... at that moment i kneel down... i told my grandma... "ma ma, i beg you wake up... i want to bring you home... you must take care of me... i need you in my life... you're the person i love the most..." then we have to leave the ICU... I screamed again to call out for her... then my mum said that ma ma is happy to see me and everyone around her... she said that everyone managed to send her off to the whole... i cried and cried... i went back to the other grandma's place... my mum called there and my grandma said not to go into her place... so my cousin and my aunt took the things down for us... then we went home... i cried until i had a very bad headache till i sleep... this is a worst day ever in my entire life!!! i HATE MY LIFE!!! I HATE TO SEE MY GRANDMA LEAVE ME!!! I HATE THE WHOLE!!! I HATE WHO MAKES MY FUTURE LIKE THAT!!! *my grandma's birthday is 25th march 1926 in chinese, zodiac rabbit, death- 15th november 2004, 4th october in chinese, 6pm... GRANDMA I WANT TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU... THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF ME WHEN I YOUNG TILL NOW... YOU'RE THE BEST GRANDMA I EVER HAD... I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!

sad again...

Dear bloggy... My grandma's not so good today... she's having low blood pressure again... *83/53* better than the 1st day she was hospitalised... yesterday she was so energetic... but when i went into the ICU she was like a very sick patient... very very sick... so i didn't go into the room... if not she'll try to talk to you... so i stood outside the ICU to look at her... when i see her with all the tubes in her mouth, nose and around her neck i started to cry... it makes me so sad to see her suffering... and the nurse tied her up if not when she's sleeping she might pull the tubes out and that can cause her in critical condition... i'll continue to pray for her... *Lord, the wonderous God please look after my grandma and heal her with your mighty power hands... please be by her side Lord... thank you Lord... thank you for being by her side, looking after her and heal her... please continue to heal her Lord... she's very important to each and everyone of us... thank you Lord... thank you Lord... in Jesus name I pray... amen* *Ma Ma lay yao sake la... lay oil fan chay zhiao yao sake dol di la...* hope when she takes in her medicine and rest... she's having heart attck in the early morning... *because she's scared to sleep... she'll say what if she sleeps and just *go* what will happen to everyone?* that's her problem... but i hope that after she has recover she take her sleep as per normal... hope se can rest well so that she can recover well... anyway people out there like my cousin... thanks for praying for my grandma, God bless you in your eternal life... anyway i gtg now... bloggy thanks for listening to my problems... bye... take care... God bless everyone in the world...

even better day for me...

Dear bloggy... My grandma was feeling better... *so happy* she responded to me... she told me to tell me aunts to bring a pair of thick socks for her and her dentures... *haha... i listen to her i wanted to laugh* *Lord, thanks for answering my prayers and thanks for healing my grandma... she's in a good condition now... i hope that you'll continue to look after her and heal her... thanks Lord... in Jesus name I pray... amen* anyway i'm going to continue to pray for her... *Ma Ma lay oil hou le... lay yao sake la oil fun chay zhiao yao sake hor...* tomorrow i'm going to visit her again... see how's her condition... anyway i'll continue praying for her... gtg bloggy... bye... God bless you all and my grandma...

A VERY VERY VERY happy day for me...

Dear bloggy... MY GRANDMA WAS HEALING VERY FAST... *thanks Lord... thank you so much for being by her side when she in danger and thank you so much for healing her... Praise the Lord... in Jesus name I pray... amen* her blood pressure went up... *116 to 117* she improve alot... i'm so happy... *Ma Ma lay ci m ci lay hou zhor? lay hou lak ar...* yesterday when i went there... i saw her with all the tudes around her... i was crying... i didn't want to scare her... s i tried all my best to stop my tears from flowing... i want to thank my cousin Rachel for praying for my grandma... thanks Rachel jie... before i went to the hospital she told me that my grandma was healed and i went to see her and she was right... *miracle works* i'm so glad that she's getting better... anyway i'm going to see her tomorrow... see how's her condition... gtg now bye bloggy... Praise the Lord...

A very sad day for me for me... :(

Dear bloggy... i received a shocking call from my cousins... they told me that my grandma was very sick... she's in the hospital now... when i see her she's suffering alot... i was crying away... but my mum told me not to cry... *what if she sees me like that she'll be frightened* so i stopsed crying... but is really sad to see her like that... her blood pressure was very low... *less than 60* that means she's in a critical condition... *means she's in the dangerous stage* she's complaining about her heart... i hope my prayers help her a little and hope that her body can take in the medicine... when i see her in the hospital she's suffering so much... and she's having low blood pressure... i hope that her blood pressure will rise up to 120... this will help her a lot... guys out there who are reading my blog please pray for my grandama to get well... she's having heart problems since 1998 to 1999... *about there* anyway i got to signout now... bye... God bless all and my grandma... *Lord please heal my grandma and look after her... thanks Lord... amen*

LOVE MY GRANDMA FOREVER IN MY ETERNAL LIFE!

A boring day... That's today... So pathetic...

Hello bloggy... welcome welcome... bleah... so boring... don't feel like posting this blog... but aiya... since i'm in here might as well post my blog... blah blah blah... nothing to say... haix... today i woke up sooooo early to go to bugis with my mum for her facial... *i sit there like a rock for 2 whole hours *wow that's super long * *

i was shopping with my mum... i got a hp pouch... *cool... it's a black pouch* then we walked the whole bugis shopping mall and headed to my cousins' place again... bleah bleah bleah... nothing much to say... it's totally a boring day for me... then i on this computer to do my blog... then my cousin's friends came over to her place... *doing some econs revision...*

nothing much to say.. i'll stop here... gtg now... bye take care blog... *pls don't give me problems to do the blog stuff*

LOVE 2N2 FOREVER...
LOVE 2N2 friends FOREVER...
LOVE YOU FROM 2N2...

Blah Blah Blah...

Dear Bloggy... Hahaha... Today's a brand new day again... new post coming right up... hahaha... *super lame* Today i woke up LATE... *10am* I overslept... Last night I watch tv too long... *opps* hahaha... (`-11am-`) Eating breakfast... eating so slowly... *cos i'm sleepy* (`-12noon-`) Taking a bath... went down to the hawker center to get my cousins', my mum's and my lunch... (`-1pm-`) walking to holland... *going to my cousins' place* (`-2pm-`) watching discovery channel... *about animals* (`-3pm-`) same thing (`-4pm-`) copying numbers for Rachel *so ma fan* (`-5pm-`) posting this blog now... (`-6pm-`) thinking of what to post for the blog... going to finish the blog soon... (`-6.30pm-`) leaving my cousins' place... going back to my grandma's place for dinner...
Hahaha... it's kinda boring... you guys have any idea how you get those tag boards and how you post your own pictures in?! pls tell me i want to know... thanks alot...

gtg now bye... take care guys... God bless you all... Study hard...
LOVE 2N2 FOREVER!!! 2N2 RockS... LOVE my friends in 2N2 FOREVER

Welcome... hahaha... my new blog!!!

Hi... Welcome to my new bloggy... hahaha... i just start this weird blog not long... hahaha... I MISS 2N2!!! hahaha... hope you guys don't mind about my blog... cos it's a little weird... and PLS give me your comments... thanks... and one more thing... can you guys tell me how you get the tag boards?! thanks...

Hmmm... i don't know what to write... hehehe...

my results... haix... very stupid... i got only the 7th in the level position man... lucky i got 5th positon in class... that indian girl... all her fault... *why must you come into my class?!*

gtg bye... take care... God bless you all who reads my blog... study hard... hahaha...