I HATE MYSELF!
I need time! ALL I NEED IS TIME! But do I have the time I need? NO! I don't! I have to seek for time! And time also gets into my way.
Why is my life going from bad to worst? WHY?! I couldn't explain. I've tried to balance everything in life; my family, you, studies, my friends and MYSELF.
Come to think of it, I seriously don't have time for myself. I took the time away from MYSELF. Just to get everything balance. Sometimes life is being very unfair. Nobody knows. I've already taken almost half of my time away from my friends, 3/4 away from my family. What about the rest?!
It's between you and my studies. I study in school, I get to see you in school. My time in school and your time in school is different. I want to have more time for you but I've tried. Sometimes it's really difficult being an only kid you know? I know usually only kids are SPOILT BRATS. But I don't have that kind of life. I'm not a spoilt brat. I've strict parents.
I know I don't spend a lot of time with you. But I just need you to understand my time. Sometimes I'm very tired. I don't know who to tell my feelings and everything to. I just write things down into a piece of paper or my diary. Because nobody, I mean NOBODY understands me. Not even myself.
I keep all these things are for me to "relieve" everything out from my mind and my heart. Usually the things I wrote in it is something to do with my heart. I'm a person who totally don't understand herself. You must be laughing, how can a person don't understand himself/herself?
I'm the one. YOU CAN LAUGH.
I really don't know what to say for myself. Practically I'm just being very STUPID. Maybe I'm just being a loser, a sore loser. Whatever it is, I can't answer to everyone. My mouth is STUPID, my brain is DEAD and my body is not FUNCTIONING. To the people around me: ERASE ME FROM YOUR LIFE. I'M JUST A JUNK. OCCUPYING SPACE AND TAKING UP MOTHER EARTH'S RESOURCES. I'M A USELESS PERSON. GET ME OUT OF MY LIFE! [There's one way I can do. But I don't wish to say. I'll just shut my mouth.]
Never mind. Leave me alone and let me cry till you see me smile again.
I HATE MYSELF!
Let me be alone.
