How's the feeling of losing hope in your life?
How's the feeling of holding a torch and walking into darkness alone?
How is it possible that I've accepted another person and broke up after that?
Same reason.
I got 2 timed.
It has been more than twice.
You know what?
I struggled a lot alone.
Even my mummy gave up to help me.
She went against my idea.
Anyone that knew went against me.
Let;s just say including you as well.
Change?
Change isn't easy.
I tried to change which I don't think I can ever change to be a nice person after I went through pain, hell, depression and etc.
You tell me you'll change.
Stay as friends for now.
I can assure you, I cannot stay like this for long.
I cannot stay as 'friends' with you.
I went thinking, continue thinking just to remain as friend.
It will never work for me.
So what if you read?
You never understand me and you won't be able to either.
You will change to be a better boyfriend and future husband.
You typed that.
You know yourself best.
Because I am just a comfortable spare tire/home that you're used to.
Because I gave the feeling of that to you.
I gave you cold shoulder.
Yes I admit right from the start.
Bcos right now my heart is too fragile to be broken by you.
If it's going to break it again, I will never ever be the Teresa everyone knew.
I admit I started losing hope ever since you and I parted.
Now I'm losing more hope than before.
Everything is falling back to the pieces that I didn't want to pick it up.
I left my heart shattered and I walked away with those shattered pieces stuck onto my feet.
Now, that's the pain I'm still going through.
I've learnt a lot after my last lesson.
My last decision changed my entire life.
I seemed fine and alright, moved on with a new guy and broke up after that.
The temporary happiness didn't last after I came to knew I was being 2 timed.
I really met the wrong people in life.
I accept that.
I just can't accept who I really am living in this world now.
I heard a lot.
I heard a lot of bad-mouthing.
Rather disappointed.
Not much of being sad.
You told me to think about it when I was in a relationship.
I did.
I thought you will stop but you didn't.
You knew I was in a relationship.
You struggle to come back.
When I left the relationship, you tried.
Eventually you stopped now.
You can't take people giving you cold shoulders.
Then can you take the pain I go through alone and cleaned up the mess and shit on my own?
Where were you when I needed you?
You're never there.
When I cry so badly?
All you did was to say it's going to be alright.
So where was the hug to make me feel better?
Why not just give up once and for all?
You've no guilt or regret to live with.
But I do.
You've never been through what I have been through.
But I do.
It doesn't hurt you as much as I do.
But it kills me more when I just think back.
Just a few questions.
Who are you, really?
What do you really want from me?
Do I even give you so much benefits?
I really don't know if all these were just a game to you.
You made it sound like you always want to win, and making me a sore loser.
Bcos whenever I fight for it, I will never get it.
What do you want to gain from me?
I don't know what future lies now.
I'm just taking a step at a time.
If things just falls apart, I let it be already.
While picking up the pieces of shattered heart, I cut myself more than I thought I never did.
Reading my blog doesn't benefit you.
It's my way of ranting.
If you're unhappy, you can leave.
There's a cross button at the top right hand corner.
I hope I can dig my own grave asap.
I am really sick of my life.
How's the feeling of holding a torch and walking into darkness alone?
How is it possible that I've accepted another person and broke up after that?
Same reason.
I got 2 timed.
It has been more than twice.
You know what?
I struggled a lot alone.
Even my mummy gave up to help me.
She went against my idea.
Anyone that knew went against me.
Let;s just say including you as well.
Change?
Change isn't easy.
I tried to change which I don't think I can ever change to be a nice person after I went through pain, hell, depression and etc.
You tell me you'll change.
Stay as friends for now.
I can assure you, I cannot stay like this for long.
I cannot stay as 'friends' with you.
I went thinking, continue thinking just to remain as friend.
It will never work for me.
So what if you read?
You never understand me and you won't be able to either.
You will change to be a better boyfriend and future husband.
You typed that.
You know yourself best.
Because I am just a comfortable spare tire/home that you're used to.
Because I gave the feeling of that to you.
I gave you cold shoulder.
Yes I admit right from the start.
Bcos right now my heart is too fragile to be broken by you.
If it's going to break it again, I will never ever be the Teresa everyone knew.
I admit I started losing hope ever since you and I parted.
Now I'm losing more hope than before.
Everything is falling back to the pieces that I didn't want to pick it up.
I left my heart shattered and I walked away with those shattered pieces stuck onto my feet.
Now, that's the pain I'm still going through.
I've learnt a lot after my last lesson.
My last decision changed my entire life.
I seemed fine and alright, moved on with a new guy and broke up after that.
The temporary happiness didn't last after I came to knew I was being 2 timed.
I really met the wrong people in life.
I accept that.
I just can't accept who I really am living in this world now.
I heard a lot.
I heard a lot of bad-mouthing.
Rather disappointed.
Not much of being sad.
You told me to think about it when I was in a relationship.
I did.
I thought you will stop but you didn't.
You knew I was in a relationship.
You struggle to come back.
When I left the relationship, you tried.
Eventually you stopped now.
You can't take people giving you cold shoulders.
Then can you take the pain I go through alone and cleaned up the mess and shit on my own?
Where were you when I needed you?
You're never there.
When I cry so badly?
All you did was to say it's going to be alright.
So where was the hug to make me feel better?
Why not just give up once and for all?
You've no guilt or regret to live with.
But I do.
You've never been through what I have been through.
But I do.
It doesn't hurt you as much as I do.
But it kills me more when I just think back.
Just a few questions.
Who are you, really?
What do you really want from me?
Do I even give you so much benefits?
I really don't know if all these were just a game to you.
You made it sound like you always want to win, and making me a sore loser.
Bcos whenever I fight for it, I will never get it.
What do you want to gain from me?
I don't know what future lies now.
I'm just taking a step at a time.
If things just falls apart, I let it be already.
While picking up the pieces of shattered heart, I cut myself more than I thought I never did.
Reading my blog doesn't benefit you.
It's my way of ranting.
If you're unhappy, you can leave.
There's a cross button at the top right hand corner.
I hope I can dig my own grave asap.
I am really sick of my life.
