For MAK TE HUI:

Happy Fucking Your New Girlfriend!

Happy Flirting Around & Sleep With Other Girls!
Bring More Girls Home.
They Are Your Greatest Benefits.

You messed up my life so much and thank you so much for messing it up.
Thank you for all the misery and mental torture.
Thank you for trying to give me hope when I thought through it.
Thank you for always giving false hope.
Telling me you miss me and you love me etc.
Ya.
Initially I thought you were, I WAS FUCKING WRONG.
YOU MADE ME REGRET FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKED UP LIFE.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BLOODY FUCKED UP LIFE.

_|_

How's the feeling of losing hope in your life?
How's the feeling of holding a torch and walking into darkness alone?
How is it possible that I've accepted another person and broke up after that?
Same reason.
I got 2 timed.
It has been more than twice.

You know what?
I struggled a lot alone.
Even my mummy gave up to help me.
She went against my idea.
Anyone that knew went against me.
Let;s just say including you as well.

Change?
Change isn't easy.
I tried to change which I don't think I can ever change to be a nice person after I went through pain, hell, depression and etc.

You tell me you'll change.
Stay as friends for now.

I can assure you, I cannot stay like this for long.
I cannot stay as 'friends' with you.

I went thinking, continue thinking just to remain as friend.
It will never work for me.
So what if you read?
You never understand me and you won't be able to either.

You will change to be a better boyfriend and future husband.
You typed that.
You know yourself best.
Because I am just a comfortable spare tire/home that you're used to.

Because I gave the feeling of that to you.
I gave you cold shoulder.
Yes I admit right from the start.

Bcos right now my heart is too fragile to be broken by you.
If it's going to break it again, I will never ever be the Teresa everyone knew.
I admit I started losing hope ever since you and I parted.

Now I'm losing more hope than before.
Everything is falling back to the pieces that I didn't want to pick it up.
I left my heart shattered and I walked away with those shattered pieces stuck onto my feet.
Now, that's the pain I'm still going through.

I've learnt a lot after my last lesson.
My last decision changed my entire life.
I seemed fine and alright, moved on with a new guy and broke up after that.
The temporary happiness didn't last after I came to knew I was being 2 timed.

I really met the wrong people in life.
I accept that.

I just can't accept who I really am living in this world now.

I heard a lot.
I heard a lot of bad-mouthing.

Rather disappointed.
Not much of being sad.

You told me to think about it when I was in a relationship.
I did.
I thought you will stop but you didn't.
You knew I was in a relationship.
You struggle to come back.

When I left the relationship, you tried.
Eventually you stopped now.
You can't take people giving you cold shoulders.

Then can you take the pain I go through alone and cleaned up the mess and shit on my own?























Where were you when I needed you?
You're never there.























When I cry so badly?
All you did was to say it's going to be alright.
So where was the hug to make me feel better?























Why not just give up once and for all?
You've no guilt or regret to live with.
But I do.
You've never been through what I have been through.
But I do.
It doesn't hurt you as much as I do.
But it kills me more when I just think back.























Just a few questions.
Who are you, really?
What do you really want from me?
Do I even give you so much benefits?
I really don't know if all these were just a game to you.
You made it sound like you always want to win, and making me a sore loser.
Bcos whenever I fight for it, I will never get it.
What do you want to gain from me?























I don't know what future lies now.
I'm just taking a step at a time.
If things just falls apart, I let it be already.
While picking up the pieces of shattered heart, I cut myself more than I thought I never did.























Reading my blog doesn't benefit you.
It's my way of ranting.
If you're unhappy, you can leave.
There's a cross button at the top right hand corner.























I hope I can dig my own grave asap.
I am really sick of my life.

I thought I can. But I was wrong again. I am never going to be happy with this mental and physical scars I have right now in me. I wish I haven't gone through all these before. I regret this very much in my life. I wish I never made all this actions in my life. I live with guilt and regret. Which there's no turning back to make things right for myself. I wish all these was just a dream. I wish it was just a fairytale. A story to cover all the bad endings. I wish I can forget all these memories. Forget the pain. Forget every single thing. I wish I was died. Please let me die at a young age. So that I won't be living with this guilt and regret for the rest of my life. When I think back, all I did was cry and I was stupid for not making things right. When I think back, I really hate being me. I HATED WHAT I WENT THROUGH. I HATED EVERY SINGLE THING.

Fucking gross that I just puked my dinner.

I should go and sleep now.

-.-

Fuck the headache along with the fever.

-.-

So glad fever, flu and sore throat are here to stay.

True and agree to this.

Seems like the dinner cannot make it already.

-.-

HATE IT WHEN ONE AFTER ANOTHER TURN DOWN.

-.-

Morning got to force myself to watch video and select quotations.

Boring please.

-.-

I'm happily watching workout videos now.

I'm going to workout and start dieting.

EAT CLEAN AND TRAIN DIRTY!

I think I should take photo of myself, before and after.

I NEED MY 42KG BACK!

MOTIVATION AND DETERMINATION STARTS TODAY!

BYE FAT TERESA!

HELLO NEW SLIM TERESA!

I've got a boring life now.

I think I'm starting to enjoy this kind of boring life and do whatever I want.

SO AWESOME.

Need more videos.

Bye.

One of my colleagues asked me what kind of guy I would like to have in future.

My kind of guy?

STRICTLY NO SMOKING, NO TATTOO, NO PIERCINGS, NO DRINKING AND NO GAMBLING.

Sounds ok?

I'm not done yet.

I HATE GUYS WHO WILL FLIRT WITH GIRLS.

I HATE GUYS WHO WILL TAKE PHOTOS WITH GIRLS LIKE THEY'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP (WHICH THE FACT IS THEY ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP).

I HATE GUYS WHO ALWAYS LIKE TO PUT THEIR EGO FIRST (LIKE THEIR EGO WILL KILL THEM).

I HATE GUYS WHO LIKE TO ANYHOW BRING GIRLS BACK HOME (BE IT WHETHER THEY ARE DOING ANYTHING OR NOT, THIS IS NOT RESPECTING THEMSELVES, SO ALL THE MORE I WON'T EVEN RESPECT THEM) - I DO NOT GO TO GUY'S PLACE ALONE. I RATHER GO WITH FRIENDS IF NOT I WON'T EVEN BE IN THEIR STUPID PLACE.

I HATE GUYS WHO TEXTS GIRLS TRYING TO FLIRT WITH THEM.

I HATE GUYS WHO LIES, AND NEVER HONEST WITH THEIR WORDS.

I NEVER TRUST GUYS WITH THEIR WORDS (WORDS ARE FUCKING CHEAP, I BELIEVED IN ACTIONS ONLY)

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT GO BY THEIR FEELINGS, COS THEY LIKE TO USE THEIR FUCKING BRAIN THAN THEIR HEART.

AND I HATE GUYS WHO LIKES TO THINK A LOT.

I HATE GUYS WHO ARE SENSITIVE LIKE MIMOSA.

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT LET ME DO WHAT I WANT OR WHAT I LIKE.

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT RESPECT MY PARENTS (ACKNOWLEDGE MY PARENTS WHEN THEY SEE THEM)

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAVE THEIR MONEY (SPEND THEIR MONEY LIKE DRINKING WATER)

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAN.

I HATE GUYS WHO MAKE ME INSECURE (OBVIOUSLY THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT).

I HATE GUYS WHO ANYHOW HUG GIRLS WHEN THEY'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP (OR EVEN BEST IS THEY HUG ANOTHER GIRL BEHIND THEIR GIRLFRIEND'S BACK)

I HATE GUYS WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THEIR BRAIN TO THINK (GIVING ME STUPID REPLIES AND ANSWERS).
I HATE GUYS WHO CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH OTHER GIRLS VERY EASILY (THIS MADE ME THINK YOU'RE A DESPO, YOU NEED A GIRL NOT BCOS OF LOVE).
I HATE GUYS WHO ARE FAKERS.
I HATE MY EX BOYFRIENDS BCOS THEY PROVE ME I CAN GET BETTER WHEN MY DAYS PASS (EVEN THE ONE I THOUGHT I LAST LONG TILL I GET MARRIED. THANKS TO HER, I BELIEVE HER WORDS NOW. SHE KNOWS MORE THAN I DO).
I HATE GUYS WHO THINKS IT'S BETTER TO HAVE A GIRL BEST FRIEND (I NEVER BELIEVE IN THAT, THIS APPLIES TO GIRLS AS WELL).


I NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF MY EX BOYFRIENDS.
NEVER FOR THE REST OF MY LIVES.
THEY ARE NEVER MY FRIENDS AND I DO NOT REGARD THEM AS MY FRIENDS.
LOOK AT ALL MY EX BOYFRIENDS.
THEY CAN LEAD A BETTER LIFE WITHOUT ME.
THEY GET A NEW GIRL AFTER A RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN CALLED OFF.
AND OBVIOUSLY POSTED IT IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA AND SHOW THE WHOLE WORLD.
SHOW THEM WHAT KIND OF GUYS YOU ALL ARE.
I DESPISE ALL OF YOU.
TURN OFF.
I JUST FIND THEM DIRTY, FREAKING DIRTY.

I REGRET KNOWING YOU ALL.

I look down on all the above of any guys who do that.

DISGUSTING MAX.

I HATE A LOT ABOUT GUYS.

Because I will never have another experience of falling in love anymore.

I'm done with love life.

It's impossible for me to trust any guys.

Even friends.

I have major trust issues.

I am single.

I am young, wild and free.

My freedom with my life now.

I will never get to meet my PRINCE CHARMING.

Neither will I have a family on my own in future.

I won't get to carry a kid who will look like me in future.

I will never have a chance to get BTO in my 20s.

No wedding gown.

No partner.

Practically I'm on my own now.

Experienced too much until I don't want to experience any of these for the time being.

When time comes, I will fall in love again.

I'm tired of putting in effort in a relationship.

I just want to be me, NOBODY ELSE BUT ME.

So what if I'm fat or skinny?!

I do not need to change for anyone.

Be who I am.

This is me.

Can't accept?
Then you don't even need to be in my life.

I am taught not to believe in love and I know this round I never will.

iPhone is dying and I didn't bring my charger.

Back to work.

CIAOS.

How sad that today's my last day driving.

I drove myself to work and I handed the car to my daddy to return.
I'll never forget the moment I drove to Changi Airport with the speed of 120km/hr.
BEST FEELING EVER!!!

ARGH.

I'm so tempted to own a car right now at this age.

Then again, just these few days made me spend like almost $120 just for the rented car.

-.-

I don't like Mazda 3.

I SWEAR THE PETROL RUNS OFF LIKE FREE.

Next car I'm going to rent will be Honda or Toyota.

NO MORE MAZDA.

Zombie mode now.

So many things to clear and so little time to finish them.

I'm moving to another location to work so soon...

DRAG ABOUT IT...

SO SO SO FAR...

AND LUNCH TIME IS SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE...

Good idea to save money and lose some weight.

Bloody hell the weight now is 48kg.

SO DAMN LONG NEVER GET SO FAT BEFORE.

-.-

SCREWED FAT LIFE.

I've been driving for the past few days.

And I really enjoy driving around Singapore and getting lost.

In fact, getting a rented car made me feel like saving my money to my very own car.

Then again, COE has increased.

Which lead me with no choice but to stick with public transport.

I'm going to rent either Honda or Toyota car.

I swear Mazda 3 is eating my money like free!

Bleeding profusely.

Working life is so damn tiring.
Zzz...
Sick still need to work.
-.-

What's the difference?
Same as the rest what.
Liar.
Faker.
Desperate.
Loser.

Suddenly I'm back to normal life.

I'm back to square one!

So freaking happy.

Some are born to be losers.

You are one of them.

COME I CLAP FOR YOU!

Finally I'm going to have sore throat.

PLEASE LET ME HAVE FEVER AGAIN.

I REALLY WANT TO SLEEP MORE.

FREAKING SHAG NOW.

-.-

The feeling of working after your normal working hours.

LIKE NOW.

-.-

This is the face I am having now.

So screwed and so tired.

I NEED A GETAWAY!

-.-

I'm desperate for sleep now!

FREAKING DEPRIVE OF REST.

-.-

Can I end work now?!

LET'S GET A NEW PHONE BABY!

YELLOW!!!